The first conversation your psychologist will want to have is with you, the parents/legal guardians, typically without your child present. This serves to both gather information about your child and how they are functioning, and also to explain the process of counselling minors. We will outline our commitment to confidentiality and safety and answer any questions you have. Your psychologist will gather a brief history of your child including any sleeping, eating, social difficulties or issues managing emotion and/or stress. Your family configuration and the school setting will also be explored to ensure a good understanding of the environments and people your child interacts with on the regular basis. We will also explore any significant or disturbing events you child may have experienced.

The first time your child comes to visit one of our psychologists at Refine, you (the parents/legal guardians) will be invited in for the first part of the session (approximately 10-15 minutes). This time will be spent reviewing the consent forms and clarifying the roles and responsibilities of each person, as well as the psychologist’s ethical responsibilities to your family. Children and teens will be invited to participate in the consent process. Your therapist will explain in a developmentally appropriate way to your child/teen that they can give permission and have control over what happens by using words like “yes, no, I don’t know or skip”. Parents will be invited out to the waiting room after the initial part of the session, so the psychologist can begin to build rapport with the child. Of course, the comfort level of the child being left with the psychologist will be honoured. Younger children often want their parents to say a little longer; this will be addressed during each visit.

At Refine we will strive to build a relationship with your child founded on trust and positive regard. We are curious about how your child sees and interacts with the world and what situations they find scary, overwhelming, exciting or calming. We put extensive effort in making the therapeutic environment a safe and desirable place for children of all ages. We adapt our approach to the age and abilities of your child and have many techniques and strategies to draw from. For younger children, this will include aspects of art, play-based therapy, storytelling, imaginary play, toys/fidgets and games which are all utilized with a therapeutic goal in mind. Youth are invited to collaboratively set goals, problem solve and explore aspects of their lives using age appropriate audio-visual tools, activities and more traditional talk therapy approaches.

Regardless of the age your child, if there is any safety concern or any imminent risk to your child, your therapist will inform you. Specific examples of risk are included in our consent forms. Young children will often need the support of parents to implement tools and strategies. In situations like this the parent may be informed of specific aspects of therapeutic content to support continuity of the skills and strategies. Children may also be excited to be the “teacher” and show parents/guardians about everything they are learning. As children grow and develop, our goal is to offer strategies and support along their journey toward independence in a way that feels safe and comfortable.  

For teens, having a private space and a trusted person who will maintain their confidentiality is deeply effective in moving towards therapeutic goal accomplishment. Generally, the psychologist will not discuss the conversations or therapeutic content with parents/guardians of teens. This is necessary to build and maintain a strong and trusting therapeutic relationship. If there are specific circumstances where information is requested to be shared, it will be discussed thoroughly in the first session to ensure a universal understanding and agreement. Rest assured you will always be informed about any pressing safety concerns.

While the pandemic demonstrated that virtual sessions with children and teenagers are possible, in person sessions are generally preferred, especially while establishing the therapeutic relationship. This allows the maximum amount of privacy/safety and facilitates the psychologist’s access to their therapeutic tools and supplies which are often instrumental in meeting therapeutic goals and supporting an enjoyable experience.

We require all parents and legal guardians to sign our consent forms. If a child’s parents or guardians do not live together, are separated or divorced, all therapeutic correspondence will be shared with both parents. If you call or email your therapist to discuss a concern, your therapist will respond to both co-parents. If you have set up arrangements for one parent to pay or one to transport the child, these arrangements must be clearly laid out before your child sees their psychologist for the first time. This allows your therapist to focus on the core of their work which is promoting positive change for the child.

Decades of research have shown that child psychotherapy is a highly successful option for children who are facing difficulties in life. Childhood is a time when the brain is building a foundation of functioning that will impact the course of adult life. The plasticity (flexibility) of the brain during development provides an opportunity for you and your child's psychologist to collaboratively influence brain development in a positive way that has the strong potential to pay off exponentially over the life course of your child. Staff members at Refine are passionate about discovering how to best guide each child with a tailored and individually specific approach. “Play is the work of childhood” (J.Piaget) and play based therapy allows for the therapist to create a highly desirable, flexible setting which entices the brain to better manage emotion, to open to connection and to cope with stressors. Thus, while your psychologist is engaging your young child in drawing, puppets, movement and any other number of creative endeavours, trust that we always have brain development and therapeutic goals top-of-mind.

As childhood gives way to teenagehood, evidence has shown us that there is once again an explosion of brain growth. This often comes with impulsivity and emotional expression that can confuse parents as youth can present with a desire to charge into adulthood full throttle. Rest assured that your psychologist dedicates considerable effort to fostering self-esteem and building confidence. By using a strength based approach, your child’s psychologist will seek to understand your teenager’s concerns, help with problem solving, honour the emotions they are experiencing and support conflict resolution and decision making strategies with lasting effects. You can expect that our child and youth psychologists will do everything they can to maximize benefits, and empower your child/teen to face both current and future life stressors.

Any concerns can be brought to your psychologist at any time. Our clinicians at Refine are trained in many different modalities (see our therapeutic approach page) and we always welcome feedback. If anything doesn’t feel right to you or your child/youth or if the psychologist is simply not a good fit, we will help you find another professional to work with.